Guess who just re-contracted!

Here’s a definitive, but not all-inclusive, list of things I’ve learnt during these past 6 months living in Japan. Don’t judge me for the pettiness.

Things I genuinely don’t understand:

• The obsession with PPAP – It makes my life a living hell because I hear it almost daily, and god forbid I have to teach a lesson about fruits. I will admit though, I have found myself dancing along to it, and found the “Pan Pineapple Apple Pan” (pan is bread) at a nearby bakery to be quite ingenious.

• Don Quijote - a wonderful emporium where you can buy eggs, Tiffany jewellery and sex toys under one roof. I may not understand it, but it’s fabulous.

•  Why, Japanese people, do you complain it’s so cold and set the staff room heater to 25 degrees? Maybe, if you actually closed some of the windows in school, it wouldn’t be so baltic.

• Pee fright – Everyone pees, please stop with the obnoxiously loud river sounds produced by the toilets, or frantically flushing the loo when you hear someone enter.

Things that make me irrationally angry:

• Tatami mats – I practically have a pet in my house that I neither wanted nor asked for, but requires a ridiculous amount of sweeping and drinking red wine in anywhere but my kitchen levels up the risk factor by 100%.

• Shampoo and moisturiser – The cause of the most recent rant in my life. I am not dry, I do not need to be extra moisturised a.k.a made greasy. Happy to report I got shampoo and moisturiser for Christmas though yay.

•  Nobody holds doors open for anyone - I’m mainly looking at you, young females. How about making both of our lives a little easier and open the door, rather than squeezing through the smallest gap so you don’t feel obliged to hold it for me.

• Laces. I didn’t realise how many of my shoes are not practical for Japanese life, especially winter ones.

General life:

•  I’ve been craving a crumpet for about two months now.

•  In summer, I live in what is comparable to Satan’s sweaty paradise.

• In winter, when it’s -4, your apartment will also feel -4 because there’s no insulation.

• Finding underwear to fit your junk is impossible.

• The inevitable ‘what’s the best konbini’ discussion. I’m a Family Mart girl all the way (unless I want a yoghurt drink or chicken teriyaki onigiri. That’s the only time 7/11 makes a break for 1^st place).

• The lack of bins – However, the “garbage disposal Granny”, who inspects my varying bags of recycling daily, has finally left me alone because I’m more abiding than most of my neighbourhood. It’s sad that I even think that’s an accomplishment.

• I still don’t know why my ‘bathroom’ sink is by my front door.

  

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all bad. I wouldn’t have signed a contract to spend another 18 months here if I wasn’t having a ball here in Kumamoto!

In fact, this is more something for me to look back on in the future, when many of these things having seemingly become the norm, so I can laugh at my foreignness in the early days.

Here’s hoping that I manage to continue my winning streak of "not dropping a bathroom slipper into a squat toilet" until July 2018.